When your husband told you he wanted to be a sissy, your initial thought may be horrified and angry why he didn’t say anything before getting married.
You’re someone who values traditional male/female roles, and this revelation leaves you uncertain about whether to continue the relationship or consider divorce.
Indeed, as a woman, this situation is challenging and difficult to deal with.
- What is a Sissy Husband?
- What To Do When You Discover Your Husband is a Sissy
What is a Sissy Husband?
A “sissy husband” is a term used to describe a husband who acts in ways usually associated with women. For example, he likes to dress in women’s clothes, wear women’s makeup, do housework often, be the passive person in the relationship, and lose sexual interest in you.
Some people may find this term rude or hurtful, especially if it’s used to make fun of a man for how they act or what they like as a woman. Everyone has the right to be themselves in the way that feels most true to them. We should be respectful and understanding.
What To Do When You Discover Your Husband is a Sissy
Getting married to a real man but then discovering he is a sissy is unacceptable! How can a real man become a sissy and how did he manage to hide this from you for so many years?
Here are 7 steps that may help you deal with a sissy husband.
1. Take a Deep Breath
At the first time you discover your husband is a sissy can be a shock. You cannot sleep well all night. It’s natural to feel a whirlwind of emotions – confusion, anger, betrayal, or even guilt.
You may find yourself questioning your entire relationship, wondering how you missed the signs, or if you did something to contribute to this. Thoughts about the future, including the possibility of divorce, may also come to your mind.
However, it takes a lot of courage for your husband to tell you his identity as he knows you may not be readily accepted.
Therefore, the first step is to calm down and take a deep breath. Allow yourself the time and space to think about this situation. It’s okay to not have all the answers immediately.
2. Have a Deep and Honest Conversation with Your Husband
Once you’ve had some time to process your emotions, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your husband to ask questions and listen to what he will say. You want to know when he likes to be a sissy – before or after married.
He is still the person you fell in love with and married. You cannot change the situation that he is a sissy but you should try to understand what is the reason behind it even if you cannot accept it.
Before conversation, keep in mind it is not about judgment or blame, but about understanding and empathy.
In conversation, try to understand his perspective. Ask him about his journey of self-discovery, what led him to identify as a sissy, how long he’s felt this way, and his degree as a sissy.
You also need to know his desires and feelings, and how he sees his identity affecting your relationship and marriage. This includes discussing his sexual preferences and abilities, as these are the most crucial aspects of a marital relationship.
Listening to his answers will not only help you understand him better but also give you a clearer picture of your relationship’s future. Therefore, you can make a better decision based on this information.
3. Express Your Thoughts and Feelings
After listening to what your husband has to say, you’ll likely have a mix of emotions and thoughts. Your husband being a sissy doesn’t just affect him, it affects you and your shared life together.
You need to give your husband your response no matter what you think as it is important for your further relationship and life. This may be difficult, especially if you’re worried about hurting him.
However, open communication is a must in this situation. Let him know how you’re feeling and why. Be honest and open, but also be respectful of his feelings. This will help both of you navigate this change and make decisions that are best for both of you.
Discuss how this change will affect your life. Will there be changes in your day-to-day activities? How will this affect your social life, or your relationships with family and friends? Will there be changes in your intimate life? These are all concerns and discussing them with your husband can help both of you understand what the future may look like.
4. Choose To Stay Together and Encourage His Manhood
You may choose to stay together if you find that your husband’s identification as a sissy doesn’t drastically alter the foundation of your relationship. If his sissy identity is primarily expressed through dressing up in traditionally feminine ways, and if this doesn’t interfere with your intimate relationships, it may be something you can learn to understand and accept.
If your marriage has been good, filled with love, respect, mutual understanding, and happy with your sex life, his sissy, while significant, doesn’t erase the bond you’ve built over the years. If you still love him, you can accept him and find ways to incorporate this new aspect into your relationship.
A man cannot become a sissy overnight, maybe it is you dominating him into being a sissy. He has to play the role of “wife” in your marriage, though he doesn’t want to. If you feel that you’ve dominated him into assuming a more submissive or traditionally “feminine” role in your marriage, you need to change.
The most supportive action you can take is to provide him with a comfortable environment where he can express his masculinity freely. This particularly applies to your intimate moments but also extends to everyday interactions where you can show him respect and appreciation.
5. Cannot Accept and Have to Divorce
Ladies, imagine you find that your husband, whom you thought was a typical man, is actually more interested in wearing your clothes than removing them from you. Many wives will be shocked and unable to accept such a husband.
You may also feel shame about how your family and friends would react if they knew that your husband identifies as a sissy.
You don’t have to tolerate any of it if you don’t want to.
Initially, you may be able to tolerate your husband dressing as a woman, but as time goes on, you may find it increasingly difficult to accept.
He may start to wear feminine clothing even bra and panties 24/7, grow out his hair, or even start to polish his fingernails. The extent of his sissy identity may become more pronounced, and this could be something you find hard to live with.
Some couples may choose to remain under the same roof, have no sex life, live separate lives, and maintain a facade of marriage for the sake of appearances. However, this is a hard life to live.
If you find yourself in such a situation, separation and divorce would be a better choice. You have the choice to end the relationship and get a real man.
6. Accept He is A Sissy
Your husband enjoys being a sissy and transforming himself into a woman. You accept your husband’s change and encourage him to express his sissy side.
You can treat him like a girlfriend. You can guide him on how to apply makeup, how to dress up, paint his nails, style his hair, and even walk in high heels. Now you have a companion to accompany you on shopping trips and select clothes.
Meanwhile, without the pressure of adhering to traditional roles and maintaining a sexual relationship, you may discover that you share more common interests with your husband.
As a sissy, your husband may be more inclined to take on a submissive role, which means he’ll be happy for you to take control of certain aspects of his life. For example, you could ask him to help with housework like cleaning, laundry, and cooking when you’re busy.
Look for a boyfriend as you need a real man for certain things. He may also understand that you need a real man to meet your sexual needs.
You both need to have talks about your intimate life and how to ensure both your needs are met. Whether this involves exploring new dynamics in your relationship or looking for outside help.
Acceptance doesn’t mean compromising your needs or happiness. It’s about finding a balance that works for both of you.
7. Seek Help
If you find yourself overwhelmed with emotions and uncertain about what to do next, it’s completely normal to seek help. You don’t have to navigate this situation alone. Reach out to your family and friends for support. They can provide a listening ear, offer advice, or simply be there for you during this challenging time.
In addition to your personal support network, consider seeking professional help. Therapists and counselors are trained to help individuals and couples navigate complex situations like this. They can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your emotions, communicate effectively with your husband, and make decisions about your future.