You may have encountered a narcissist in your life who didn’t seem to respect you. Narcissists need to feel superior to those around them in order to maintain their sense of self-worth, so they’ll often put others down in order to make themselves feel better.
If you’re wondering how to make a narcissist respect you, here are 21 tips you can do.
- 1. Be Clear About What You Want From Them in Your Relationship
- 2. Respect Yourself
- 3. Be Confident and Assertive
- 4. Be Independent
- 5. Avoid Acting Jealous or Insecure
- 6. Stop Trying to Please Them
- 7. Be Less Reactive to Them
- 8. Say “No” to Them
- 9. React When They Disrespect You
- 10. Don’t Always Be Available
- 11. Have Activities with Other Friends
- 12. Don’t Engage A Narcissist On A Deeper Level
- 13. Take Care Of Your Appearance
- 14. Make Sure You’re Always On Your Best Behavior
- 15. Make Friends With People The Narcissist Respects
- 16. Work Hard To Achieve Something That The Narcissist Values
- 17. Be Someone of Value
- 18. Set Boundary
- 19. Seek Help From Others
- 20. Seek Professional Help
- 21. Be Willing to Walk Away
1. Be Clear About What You Want From Them in Your Relationship
If you want a relationship with a narcissist to work, you need to be clear about what you expect from them. You need to explain to them that you expect respect, honesty, and communication.
If they are unable or unwilling to meet your needs, then it’s time to leave. For example, if you consistently feel disrespected by your partner, it’s time to end the relationship.
2. Respect Yourself
Respect yourself before you expect anyone else to do the same. This means having high standards for yourself and not tolerating being treated poorly. When you know your worth, you are less likely to accept anything less than what you deserve, including respect.
3. Be Confident and Assertive
Narcissists respect people who are confident and assertive, so it’s important that you project these qualities when you’re around them.
Stand up straight, make eye contact, and speak in a clear, strong voice. Avoid mumbling or stuttering, as this will make you look insecure and uncertain. Show the narcissist that you’re a force to be reckoned with and they’ll start to respect you.
4. Be Independent
Another quality that narcissists respect is independence. People who are independent are not needy or clingy, and they don’t rely on others for validation or approval.
They are self-sufficient and confident enough to go their own way. This is the opposite of what narcissists look for in a partner, which is someone who will stroke their ego and gives them the attention they crave.
Don’t ask for a narcissist’s advice on how to live your life – they will see this as a sign of weakness. Instead, make your own decisions and stand by them. For example, if the narcissist tries to tell you what to wear or how to style your hair, don’t listen. Just do what you want and be confident in your choices.
5. Avoid Acting Jealous or Insecure
Narcissists often seek out partners who are jealous and insecure, as they view these qualities as a sign of weakness. So avoid acting jealous or insecure before a narcissist.
Of course, this can be easier said than done. If you’re naturally prone to jealousy or insecurity, try your best to keep these emotions in check. Don’t let the narcissist see you getting jealous over every little thing, and don’t give him or her the satisfaction of knowing that you’re feeling insecure.
6. Stop Trying to Please Them
If you always please them, they’ll you’re in their control. You’ll be their toy, someone to be used and manipulated.
Don’t compliment them all the time or give them everything they want, make them work a little bit for your attention and admiration. This will show the narcissist that you’re not going to just hand over your respect, they need to earn it.
7. Be Less Reactive to Them
If you’re always reacting to everything a narcissist says or does, they’ll think they can control you. But if you don’t react and instead do something else, they’ll start to respect you more because they’ll see that you’re not under their control.
8. Say “No” to Them
Narcissists are used to getting their way and they will try to control you with their manipulation tactics. So it’s important to say “no” to a narcissist so that you don’t let them do this to you.
Let them know that you’re not going to tolerate their bad behavior and that they need to shape up if they want to stay in your life.
If a narcissist is always trying to convince you of their own opinions, it can be tiring. Expressing your own opinions shows that you’re an independent thinker and not someone who will just agree with everything they say. This will make them respect you more.
9. React When They Disrespect You
If you don’t react when the narcissist disrespects you, then they will think it’s okay to keep doing it. But if you stand up for yourself and put your foot down, they will start to respect you more.
This is because the narcissist doesn’t want to be disrespected either, so they will understand how it feels when you’re on the receiving end.
10. Don’t Always Be Available
One thing that a narcissist hates is feeling like they are not the center of your world. So, if you are always available to them and always doing what they want, they will lose interest quickly.
Instead, try to keep a little bit of mystery about you and make them work for your attention.
Stop being so available all the time and don’t go out of your way to do things for the narcissist. Show them that you have a life outside of them and that you don’t need them in order to be happy. This will make the narcissist sit up and take notice, and make them more likely to respect you.
11. Have Activities with Other Friends
When you spend time with other friends, a narcissist will ask you why you don’t have activities with him or her instead. It will make them think about what they do wrong and try to improve themselves. Then they’ll respect you more.
12. Don’t Engage A Narcissist On A Deeper Level
The best way to interact with a narcissist is to keep things light and superficial. If you can, try to avoid talking about yourself altogether. Talk about the weather, current events, or other topics that they’re interested in.
You’ll likely be devalued and disrespected if you open up to a narcissist.
If you do have to share something personal, be sure to keep it short and sweet. The less they know about you, the less they can hurt you.
13. Take Care Of Your Appearance
Narcissists are often very superficial people. They tend to judge others solely on their physical appearance and can be quite shallow.
You need to take care of your appearance and present yourself in a positive light to gain respect from a narcissist. This means dressing well, keeping up with your grooming, and generally looking put-together.
14. Make Sure You’re Always On Your Best Behavior
Narcissists always criticize others and point out their flaws. If you want a narcissist to respect you, it’s better to always be on your best behavior. For example, don’t act or behave that the narcissist might deem as being unworthy or low-class.
15. Make Friends With People The Narcissist Respects
The narcissist respects the strong, the successful, and the powerful. If you want the narcissist to respect you, you can try to make friends with such people. The narcissist will see you as a valuable friend and will be more likely to treat you with respect.
16. Work Hard To Achieve Something That The Narcissist Values
A narcissist believes that certain life objectives and benchmarks define success. These objectives may be related to wealth, social standing, or professional achievements. You need to work hard to achieve something that he or she values.
This is not to say that you should strive to become a carbon copy of the narcissist. Rather, focus on excelling in an area that the narcissist already values. For example, if the narcissist is particularly materialistic, works hard to earn more money, or acquires nicer possessions.
If the narcissist values social status, try to become involved in the same social circles and networks. Attend the same events and functions, and rub elbows with the same people.
The goal is not to become a clone of the narcissist, but rather to show that you’re worthy of respect by excelling in an area that he or she values.
17. Be Someone of Value
Most narcissists believe they are unique, and when they meet someone who is superior to them, they get incredibly impressed. Your job is to be someone of value. That puts you above the narcissist, and they will have to treat you with respect.
For example, if you can do something well where the narcissist fails, or if you have a skill that the narcissist needs, that will definitely earn you some respect.
18. Set Boundary
If you don’t set boundaries with a narcissist, they will take advantage of you emotionally and physically. A narcissist will never respect you if you don’t have boundaries.
You need to be clear about what you will and will not tolerate from them. It is important to be firm and consistent with your boundary. If you give them an inch, they will take a mile.
19. Seek Help From Others
A narcissist may not respect you if you don’t have support from others. This is because they know that they can take advantage of you if you are alone.
It is important to seek help from others who have been in your situation. These people can provide you with support and guidance. They can also help you to understand what you are going through.
You need to be careful about who you take advice from. You should take advice from people who have your best interest at heart. You should not take advice from a narcissist.
20. Seek Professional Help
If you find yourself in a difficult relationship with a narcissist, you can also seek professional help. This will allow you to understand the situation better and figure out how to deal with the narcissist effectively.
A therapist can also help you work on your own self-esteem and build up your confidence so that you can be less vulnerable to the narcissist’s manipulation.
21. Be Willing to Walk Away
If the narcissist doesn’t seem to be respecting you, even after you’ve tried all of the tips above, then it may be time to walk away.
Narcissists often take advantage of people who stick around, even when they’re being mistreated, so it’s important to show the narcissist that you’re not going to put up with their crap.
Keep in mind that most probably you can’t change a narcissist. The only thing you can do is walk away from them. Don’t waste your time trying to get a narcissist to respect you, there are plenty of other people out there who will.